Day 13 - how are we to stay kind to those who hurt us? To those who lie to us, try to deceive and manipulate us? I’ve chosen to stay firm, but kind, but it’s not always easy. Part of me wants to just give in, let her do whatever she wants - I’m stronger than that - I can take it, but another voice whispers in my ear, “Sometimes it’s the kindest thing to be strong and not let someone take advantage of you,” so that’s what I choose to do. It feels like junior high, and that was not the most joyful time in my life, but I remind myself that it’s not. I’m an adult, and a respected practitioner of my craft. I’ve been walking my Walk for over 20 years, and I’ve built a fine reputation. I hold my head high, proudly, but not thinking I’m BETTER than anyone else - just because I really like who I am, and I feel confident enough of my own Core that I’m willing to help others do THEIR own Work by not always turning the other cheek.
No, little one, you cannot walk on me, no, little one, you may think your lying is the Truth, but I know all that has transpired between the two of us, and I don’t publicly defend myself because there’s no defense needed. You cannot have everything you want, when you want it, with whatever suits you in the moment. There are others in this world. I realize that, just starting out, you may feel like you don’t have enough experience to feel confident in your Work, but in this world you cannot cut others down just to relieve your own shakiness. I will be kind and tell you these words: “You have it within you to be a very sweet Worker, but you are just starting out, and there is much for you to learn. You are most likely grappling with your lower energies, perhaps that have carried over from past lives. They have arisen in you to be healed, my friend, and I will help you with that by not backing down in your mistreatment of me. I am firm, but neutral, to allow you the opportunity to look at your actions and make correction - I will be your Cosmic Mirror. I do this willingly and lovingly and gently, but above all, with the utmost kindness, because I know this Road is not always easy, but you simply cannot treat me the way you’ve treated me. You cannot.” The kindest path is sometimes the most difficult path, but I continue to walk.
Day 14 - the sun is shining warmly and the wind is on my face. I love our backyard in the summer, the hammock under Sam, our silver maple. I can hear Bill as he conducts his ‘experiments’ in the chair next to me, his sweet voice carrying clearly across the grass. I think this must be heaven, this moment of pure happiness. I think I cannot be happier - I have a beautiful husband, beautiful children that are so dear to me, the best friends in the entire Universe, an unprecedented support system of friends and family, some 500 strong. I think this Universe is a benevolent place, I know it - I look at the blue in the sky, contrasted sharply by the impossibly white clouds, and I think it cannot get better than this. God is very very kind, I think, to create my experience that allows me to feel this way. I am eternally grateful for my journey so far, even though I wouldn’t have asked for this, those 25 years ago when I was first starting out. It’s never what you think, but it’s always perfect in the end. That’s what I’m thinking, when my mind can concentrate on anything other than the beauty of this moment.