I don’t know why, but I keep trying to make sense out of everything that’s going on right now, for me, for the world. I know it’s a hopeless cause, yet somewhere I think if I can figure any of this out, it will help. Not only me, but maybe others who are going through the same things, or may go through them in the future. That’s what we’re all here for - to help each other, however we can, because nobody really knows what’s going on, totally, but we see glimpses. What I’m looking at now is the coincidence of losing 50 pounds, getting healthy, then almost immediately finding an infected tooth. I’d gone through 9 months of detoxing and a healing crisis by the time the infection was found. About the same time I gained 10 pounds, lost my urge to work out, and started craving chocolate and carbs. I thought it was connected to Mom dying, but after last Thursday getting my infected tooth pulled, I’m beginning to see (and feel) a new picture of what’s going on.
I won’t lie - this healing process if pretty powerful, intense, and frightening at times. I get the opportunity of walking through several fearful places all at the same time, but when I can go to my Happy Place, I see what’s happening, and it is this: there are waves of healing and detoxing that are taking place, and I don’t think it’s just with me. I think it’s on a planetary scale, in different ways. I think Haiti has something to do with it, and whatever’s going on in southern CA (or will be going on there) has something to do with it. But for me, I started feeling these waves, or cycles, almost immediately. They start as almost a disconnected feeling (I say I feel strange), then a feeling of being sick and tired. I rest for a while, then I feel better than I felt before I felt sick. Oddly enough, I don’t want sugar, or chocolate, or ‘bad’ food anymore. My body feels a lot calmer and clearer, and I’ve already lost 5 pounds. Okay, I can’t reallly eat anything other than chicken noodle soup and scrambled eggs, but still, I’m just sitting around resting for most of the day. I’m wondering if this infection somehow was my body’s way of centralizing all of my toxins, the things I need to clear out of my body, and now that that energy’s gone, it’s taking all the rest of that lower energy with it, but in waves. That’s what it feels like, and like I said, it’s pretty powerful. I felt really sick this morning, and thought the antibiotics were making me that way. But afterward, it really felt like a detoxing, because I felt good afterward.
But it’s hard to stay in a positive place when I’m a worrier (another one of those things that’s up for me to heal) - what if… what if my infection doesn’t go away? What if the antibiotics make me sick? What if I don’t get better? What if my tooth space gets infected? What if the infection comes back? Sigh. You see? I’m brave about some things, not so brave about other things, but when I tune in, all I can hear is “Rest,” and that it will take a week before I feel better (it’s been four days). Patience? Apparently another thing I’m working on. That’ll be a hard one, for sure. Trust? Totally. But I look at the bigger picture whenever I can, because I think there are clues everywhere for us, if we only have the ability to find them. Maybe I don’t need to figure anything out, but still - it’s really interesting to me. Have YOU been feeling any of these changes lately? Since 11.11.11, especially, certainly after the new year. Again, I naively thought everything would be peachy keen jelly bean, and it IS, in some ways, but more it feels to be even MORE intense and serious lessons we’re called to learn. Why? Because we’re more capable of doing more Work, I suppose, and we can’t just stand around - there’s Work to be done! I get to do it infection-free, for sure. I wonder what I’ll feel like? Superwoman? Wonder Woman? All of the superheroes combined? Now THAT would be totally peachy keen. But if not today, soon. I’ll just keeping working on my superhero skills until I’m ready to fly. I just want to make sure I’m as prepared as I can be, ‘cause flying’s going to be SWEET, don’t you think?