I decided to be more of a housewife a few years back, and I really loved it - cooking, cleaning, folding laundry, taking care of my family. I’d been running around too much, teaching, training, doing workshops and giving speeches, traveling, and I was tired - soul tired. At the end of the day, and at the end of my life, what would it all matter? I missed my family, so they were grateful when I told them I was staying home more so I could take care of them. Don’t get me wrong - I did it because I WANTED to, not because of any preconceived mandate that said a ‘good’ wife and mother SHOULD do that. I love nurturing those I love. But I noticed that in these past few months, I’ve been increasingly feeling overwhelmed, like there’s not enough hours in the day to do what I want to be doing. So I looked at everything and saw that I’d gotten away from some of the basics that really feed my soul, and that included cooking.
So this afternoon I dragged out my thick white three-ring binder of all our favorite recipes and made a grocery list. But I didn’t stop there - I also picked another favorite cookbook, “Moosewood Restaurant New Classics” and found enticing recipes like Indian Curried Potato Wrap, which uses potatoes (duh), Neufchatel cheese, onions and garlic, fresh ginger, cinnamon, turmeric and cayenne, green peas, tomatoes, fresh lemon juice and whole wheat flour tortillas. My mouth started watering, and I bigtime dog-eared that page. I could feel that primal need to cook returning, and frankly, I feel relieved. It brings some order to my life, more meaning, more depth, more realness, knowing my sweet husband will walk in from work and smell that deliciousness cooking on the stove, and will feel loved. It’s what I do.
I think it’s good to think about from time to time - what feeds us? Then make sure we’re doing those things in our lives, and if not, start. If we’re not feeding our souls, what’s the point? I think we get offtrack sometimes, and it’s important to take those pitstops, look at the map, to turn your life’s wheel just a touch to the left, get back on the road again so you’re not bumping on the gravel. This is my adjustment time, and I’m liking how I’m feeling, after a little stint of confusion and some exhaustion. But that’s okay, too - it was a good rest. But now I’m ready to rock and roll again, and that includes cooking - I know my family’s happy to hear that. What feeds you?