Okay, only the second day, but I think I kind of suck at writing novels. I remind myself of the 19th century authors that take 20 pages for the main character just to walk down the sidewalk. I wrote 500 words, then noticed I forgot what my main character was doing before I went off on a side note. What am I supposed to do? Just keep writing, I guess. How do other authors do it? I’ve been reading my whole life - I should KNOW how to do this. Others make it looks so easy. When I read good writing, it’s like a beautiful gallop down the road. Smooth and exhilarating, no bumps. I’ve gotten that a few times in these past two days, that smoothness, that coherence, that ‘aha’ that hits my brain that lets me know I’m getting some good stuff.
I read part of my first day to Bill, and he said, “You’re introducing Will WAY too early,” so I looked at my work and had to agree. But what to do now? I’m not supposed to edit, and I already introduced Will, so I put that whole part in brackets. I figured out how to keep writing even if I didn’t know specifics. I just type “blah blah blah” and hopefully I’ll catch it and fill in the specifics later. I kind of like fiction, but it’s look sneakily like non-fiction to me. The mom is me, Bill is Bill, the dad is mostly Steve. I know we write what we know. Can I make the leap into the unknown, writing about people who are specifically NOT people I know? I don’t know. I guess I’ll just keep writing. I feel like giving up already. I don’t think I have it in me. I don’t think I have the stamina. I’m scared. Of what? Of running out of words. Have I EVER run out of words? Hah - thanks for that. Now I’m laughing. Good one. I have NEVER been short of words. A reporter from my high school basketball days told me I was “always quotable.” I think that means I talk a lot. Not sure, but pretty sure.
So I channel my vociferousness onto the computer screen and trust my voice. I trust it to carry me beyond one sitting, which is my usual attention span. I can knit something if it can be done in a few hours. Same with sewing, or cooking, or writing. Or cleaning, if I DID clean, I’m sure it would be the same for cleaning. Oh no - do I even HAVE staying power? I’ve been with Steve for 20 years. Yes, I have staying power. But I’m impatient. Maybe these 30 days will be a good exercise in stretching my attention span for the long haul. Maybe this life sprinter will calm down to cross-country. That’s what I say I want, because not everything in life can be obtained in one sitting. In fact, I’m quite certain that hardly anything really juicy and worthwhile can be obtained in one sitting. It’s still a working theory, but I’m interested enough to keep going with that thought.
So far I’ve gotten Bill awake, off to school and home again. He’s eaten dinner, and is now practicing his dance routine for the talent show. Not bad for two day’s work, but then, I haven’t figured out how far or where I need Bill to go by the end of the 50,000 words. Maybe he’ll make it through a whole week! Or maybe just down to the end of the sidewalk.