Steve stayed up late to watch news about Haiti while I helped Bill with his homework. I’d heard about the earthquake but didn’t know a lot about it. I hadn’t been ‘following’ it. Something tugged at me this morning, and I started reading the reports. Up to 1,000,000 people may die in this poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Red Cross has run out of supplies (I just made a donation), there’s no help to them yet, and I think of the column I wrote for next week, all about fear. I think about a recent column talking about predictions for 2010 in which I said natural disasters were going to amp up. In fact, what’s odd is that this is what I wrote, and I quote, “As regards the physical world, I’m seeing that upheavals are going to continue, in the form of volcanoes, earthquakes and violent storms. Some are easily predictable, but it looks like some are going to come out of nowhere, as in, “What in the heck was that?” it will hit so suddenly and unexpectedly.” Odd, isn’t it? Do we know, on some level, what’s going to happen, what’s going on with all of us? I felt it, for sure, but that’s how I do my Work, by feeling.
I want to ask “why” because that’s what I always ask, as if by understand the beginning we can somehow go back magically in time and prevent it from happening. But we can’t. It’s happened. Stuff happens. We can only ask ourselves, “What NOW?” What can I do, what can we, the rest of the world, do? There’s nothing worse than feeling powerless. But you’re never totally powerless. You can always pray, or send healing energy, or good wishes - whatever you call that thing that takes you out of your individual world and connects you to others. You can donate. You can continue to donate in the future to those in need. But as I sit here and think about the possibility of 1,000,000 lives lost, and look at those pictures of all the dusty and bloody people, I just feel sad. Well, not sad as much as compassionate. I want to help. I close my eyes and start my tonglen meditation, breathing in the pain and fear and despair of the whole world, and breathing out light and love and strength. It helps. I cup my hands in front of me and imagine the whole world is held there, and surround it with soft white light. I think of the upheavals and changes yet to come, but I still feel strangely calm, knowing deep in the center of my Heart that everything will be fine, it’s always fine. It’s scary at times, yes, it is. This physical world IS scary, no doubt about it. We’re limited, and dense, and restricted. We don’t remember everything. We don’t remember where we come from, or who we really are, in total. We forget we’re all One, that we’re connected, that we’re here to help each other. We forget to trust. We forget we can remember.
My tooth hurts. It’s had TWO root canals, but is now ready to be pulled. It’s little, this one tooth, yet I’m feeling it in my whole body. That’s how we are in the world, separate little body parts and cells and systems, yet what affects one ultimately affects ALL. You can’t ignore Haiti, just as I can’t ignore my tooth (much as I’d like to right now). We need to take care of each other. Good care. That’s what I’m thinking about today. How best to do that, and what does it mean? All good questions.