If I ever thought every new shift would just keep getting more difficult, I never would’ve started saying, “Oh, we’re almost through this one!” when I first started these energy shifts, over 10 years ago. If I knew then what I know now, I would’ve been smarter and just said, “Well, we’re almost through this one,” but more as if we should acknowledge the work, and be proud of all we’d accomplished in the process, but not necessarily thinking our lives would now magically be easier. It’s like math. At first it all looks foreign, but we start at the beginning. But just because we understand addition doesn’t make division any easier. In fact, the more advanced the math, the more complex the theories and principles, the more symbols and theorems there are. It doesn’t get easier - it gets harder, but we hopefully get smarter as we go.
Do you feel smarter than you were 10 years ago? In some ways, yes, but in other ways, I feel like a broken record. I still get bitchy and impatient and overwhelmed and neurotic. But maybe now I’m also aware that I’m choosing to do those things. Maybe that’s progress. Maybe it’s just realizing we’re still human, and we’re works in progress. Two steps back, one forward, three to the side, stop for a while, then start all over. I’m hard on myself; I’m hard on others. I feel that I’m poised on the verge of some new things, but I can’t see them clearly yet, but I don’t care. That’s a good sign. I’m detached. Whatever happens, happens, and I don’t worry too much about it all. I’m doing the best I can with what I have. Maybe that’s the best any of us can hope for right now. Ask me again in a couple of weeks and I may have another answer. But for now? I’m coping by just putting one foot carefully and slowly in front of the other and keeping my eyes on the road, what I can see of it. Anything else? Fluff and stuff - thrown out the window. For now? Sending everyone best wishes and good luck for the journey - see you on the other side of this, whatever this is.