I was going to write about this yesterday, but stopped myself, in light of events in Haiti. Then I realized that that’s exactly WHY I should write about it, so today I AM. 9 months ago my dear daughter bought a sweet rat and named her Zoe, which is Greek for ‘life.’ She’s a seminary student, studying Greek (hence the name), but more importantly, thought that owning a pet might help her get in touch with some things. She then bought another sweet rat and named her Thanatos, which is Greek for ‘death.’ I admit it - I was not a huge rat fan. Something about those yellow, pointed teeth and that tail and the way they jump around, and I really didn’t spend too much time with the rats. They were dear to Kari and Bill, however, and I appreciated that. On Christmas Eve, sweet Zoe died in Kari’s hands. It was very very sad, and the irony of ‘life’ dying was not lost on us. I look over at Thanatos, and she is hardy, athletic, robust and healthy. I’d always felt that. I even told Kari from time to time that I worried about Zoe - her energy always seemed so frail, weaker than Thanatos’s.
After Zoe died and Kari left the country, Bill and I were given the honor of taking care of Thanatos. To say she grew on me is an understatement. I dream of her, spend every available minute with her, cuddle her, pet her, talk to her, and bake her special rat treats. People say it, but I MEAN it when I say that she’s more than an animal - I can FEEL her Spirit when she looks at me. She’s just pure Sweetness. I worry that Jack, our cat, will eat her if given a chance, and I worry that I would hate him if he ever did that. Kari worries that Thanatos will die before she gets home in June, but I know that she will live for many, many years. I just feel it.
So it’s odd now to have an imbalance of only Death in our house, no Life. It’s odd that Death is stronger than Life was. It’s odd that I love Death so much. But in the end, then, it all goes back to the fact that there really IS no such thing as Death - only little series of transformations and stops along the way of our big Journey that started eons ago and will continue for eons to come. By embracing Death so completely, I am transformed and healed. I am empowered, and I am grateful. Thanatos? She’s a little lady rat, MY little lady rat, for another five months, then she’ll go back to her dear Kari. What will I learn in these next five months? What will Death teach me? I can’t wait to find out. But this I know for sure: Death loves me, too. And that, my friends, IS surprising!