I should be prepared every Monday. I should know better. After I see Linda a lot of stuff gets ruffled up. I’d done some good work, and thought the rest would just happen on its own, organically, naturally. So it took me by surprise that yesterday afternoon it became hard to breathe, like a gorilla was sitting on my chest. My first thought was that I was getting sick again, bronchitis, pneumonia. My lungs felt hot when I breathed, and it was hard to even take a breath. I walked into the kitchen and told Steve I couldn’t breathe.
Steve’s my Rock. No, not like Duane Johnson, although that’s a good thought (!). He’s my level-headed, voice of reason, common sense essential in my life. He said, “I get that sometimes - it’s hard to breathe. It’s like anxiety or something. Then it goes away.” I tuned into my body, into my chest, and just that simple sentence instantly transformed my heavy chest back to light again. I guess there IS such a thing as magic! I hugged him for a long time.
I know that this is the time that we all need to clear any blocks, heal all hurts, balance any imbalances, but I never thought it would be this intense. This body stuff is serious business! I admit I’m not so keen on doing body work. The spiritual stuff is just so easy, light and fun! But that’s probably why this is so intense - there’s a lot of it there. And it’s okay. But what I want to say today is that it takes concentration, discipline, willingness, trust, dedication, and perseverance. It’s not for sissies. Truly. It’s only for warriors, and if you’re reading these words, then you are a warrior. I know that for sure. So be brave, my warrior friend. Know that you are well prepared and girded (I love that word) for all that will befall (I love that word, too) you in these coming days and months. Trust your body, for it knows what it needs and will be CLEAR in telling you. Listen to it. Remember to breathe. Remember to laugh. Remember to be thankful and grateful. Remember to hug. And remember to smile. This current time will pass. You will probably cry, be scared, get angry, be tired. But you will continue on, very bravely, because that is what you do. That is who you are. Just know that you are never alone. I’m here, and everyone who loves you is right here, and above all, YOU are here for you.
Do I wish I were through this all? I won’t lie - YES. Do I want to avoid it? NO. I want to live it, feel it, be it, heal it. I really do. Does it suck? Indubitably. But it’s okay, because I haven’t always been there for my body. I haven’t always done the difficult work that’s needed to be done. But I’m doing it now. As bravely as possible. And as honorably as possible, hoping to god that I don’t look like a total dolt and loser while I’m doing it all. But even if I DO look like a dolt, SO WHAT? At least I’m doing it. There - I got it off my chest. And yes, it IS easier to breathe now.