3AM. The energy must’ve woken me, because I felt something REALLY strange traveling through my body. At first I wondered if I was in pain (how can you not know you’re in pain? I don’t know - it was just my first thought), and if I was having a vaso vagal reaction and would soon be fainting. It didn’t FEEL like PAIN, but I’d never felt that strong of an energy inside of me before. By the time I was conscious enough, it was in my belly and swirling out from there. Traveling. I don’t think I was supposed to be awake for this, but then I wondered - what ELSE goes on when I’m asleep? Hey - I hate to miss a party, but if last night is any indication as to what’s transforming, maybe I should ask to be put into a DEEPER sleep so I DON’T feel what’s going on. Once again, this defies logic and rational explanations, but then I’ve never been one to abide by any rules or huge degree of normalcy. I’ve always been one, spiritually speaking anyway, of marching to the beat of a different drummer.
What IS going on, then? Like I say, it’s an energy thing, an integration of our three main energies - Body, Mind and Spirit. What I also realize is that whatever is hidden is now coming to light, absolutely NO more running away or hiding or ‘sweeping it under the rug.’ The proverbial rug has had so much dense dust swept under it that it’s now a huge lump in the middle of the floor. No more! But at what cost? Sure, it’s tiring, sure, it’s frustrating. We’re ALL crabby in our house right now - okay, just me and Bill. Hubby’s just fine. But then Bill and I are the ones that are getting the brunt of this whole ‘thing’ right now. I try to remind him that we just need to be patient, get plenty of rest, take it easy. Oh, and not eat dairy or refined sugars or flour (thanks, Robert). I’m even sipping Chinese herbs in hot water to try to ‘dry up’ (sniffly nose and cough). Are we patient? Well, sort of, when cool stuff like last night happens. At least then I can SEE the results - that there actually IS something productive and positive going on, and not just that we’re SICK FOR FOREVER. That’s the old mentality - the new mentality is “great! What’s next?” Well, sort of it’s like that. For me it’s actually something more like, “Okay, I give up! Just do it!”
But however we’re approaching our current development, I continue to believe it IS all unfolding exactly as it should - we are all doing exactly what we need to be doing, how we need to be doing it, and when we need to be doing it. There’s just absolutely NO mistakes anymore. It takes me a while to get something through my thick skull, but I’m learning, really I am. It’s an energy thing…