It happens sometimes. When you just have to open your hands, palms up, and just let it all go. Whatever’s bothering you, whatever you’re hanging on to, trying to control. Whatever you want to keep in your life, whether it’s because you’ve always HAD it, or because you just automatically want to KEEP it. I find myself getting to the point of surrender every time I get backed into a corner, when too many things come before me at too quick of a rate, and I don’t have anywhere else to turn, no other choices - I just feel like I HAVE to let it all go. I got to that point last night. It’s not that you’re overwhelmed physically (well, it might be that), but more like emotionally and spiritually you’re able to see the broader picture, like everything is magnified and you’re like, “Oh, so THAT’S what’s going on!” It all snowballed with Kari’s rat Zoe dying, to my thumb getting infected, to my friend Kenny’s dear wife dying on Christmas Day, to pre-missing Kari when she leaves for England, to pre-missing Erik when he moves out of the house Jan. 8th, to Bill’s cough. Again, on and on, but this time I can see the broader picture, and have been able to move into a place of trust (somewhat - don’t tell anybody what happened when I called you, Connie or Melissa or Maggie 
- I was less than trusting for those phone calls).
But OVERALL, I feel increasingly like we just HAVE to move into those places of trust. What other options do we have? It’s all just too much to figure out, to ‘handle’ (whatever that means), to deal with. We can’t ‘do’ it all anymore. We are tired of asking, “What’s going on?” because we realize that just “stuff” is going on because it needs to go on, for whatever reasons we may not fathom down here. So I sat there with my palms on my knees, silently chanting my mantra (thanks, Vidya), breathing, eyes closed. That’s all. I prayed a silent prayer something like this: “Whatever I need to let go off, I let go of it. If there’s something I need to know, let me know what I need to do and I’ll do it.” I have no idea what all I need to let go of, but I can give you a short list. My tendency to worry, get scared, try to control, my love of ‘things,’ my currently kind of unhealthy eating and lack of exercise, my impatience, my lack of trust. Look - we all have our ‘things’ we’d like to change. It’s part of what makes us so dear - all those little quirks and ‘imperfections’ that instead serve to make us unique, help us stand out. “Look - she’s spiritual AND she watches ‘Glee’ and likes Matthew Morrison AND eats red meat.” See? Our quirks make us interesting. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about letting go of everything that no longer serves us, of being malleable enough to trust our paths. If we’re on the move (which I definitely think we are), we simply CAN’T take everything that’s in our house. No - we have to pack a lighter suitcase or even load our car up with our ‘valuables’ and head off down the road. Otherwise it’s just far too ponderous of a journey. So maybe that’s what’s happening right now. We’re getting ready to move, and we have to declutter our house before the moving truck comes. It just can’t take EVERYTHING we’ve accumulated over our lifetimes. Too much! So we’re being asked to evaluate, look over, really see if we want to take everything that’s been a part of our lives ‘before.’ I know there’s plenty I can just haul off to the Boy’s Rancy (but really - I have no idea if THEY’D want any of this ‘stuff,’ either). Maybe it’s better just to release it back out the Universe to get transformed or transmuted into higher energies. I don’t know about any of that. I just know that I’m letting go, just palms up letting it all go. Again and again. I say it every day - “I let go.” Yes, I’m a slow learner, but once I learn something, I learn it forever. I’ll let you know how it keeps going for me, because I have a suspicion you may be going through some of the same things. It’s kind of fun, in the end, I guess, to think about what it will all look like once we get through it a little further. A clean, beautiful, shiny new House with all of our most treasured parts of ourselves there, fitting perfectly into our Soul Space? Can’t wait - gives me a little more strength for this current dirty work of organizing, decluttering, and yes, letting go.