Okay, so here’s the deal. There are some pretty heavy duty symptoms going on for folks right now, so I thought I’d devote today’s entry to talking about them. A significant one is having sharp pains right behind your right ear. It’s usually swollen, and hurts when you even touch it. Also I’m seeing a lot of sharp pains right behind your heart on your back, right above your left shoulder blade. Also (oh, what fun!) is the feeling that you’ve positively sprained every single muscle in your upper torso. Your neck hurts, your shoulders hurt like you’ve been lifting 200 pounds, even your elbows hurt. There’s also an odd little pain right in the middle of your sternum, usually on the left, where your ribs connect to your ribcage. Excruciating headaches are the order of the day. I felt like my head was going to explode this morning, for no particular reason other than I had a monster headache, and although it’s eased now by evening, I can still feel my ears plugged up, and I’m slightly dizzy.
Lovely lovely, as if that wasn’t enough, emotions are running high all around, ranging from crying to really angry to frustrated to really peaceful and content, all in 5 minutes sometimes. I’m seeing a lot of heart stuff - palpitations, racing, weird ‘pinging’ feelings in front of the heart. A really strange one is a feeling of almost getting shocked, and feeling it either in one place, or kind of starting in one spot then traveling out, but it doesn’t hurt, and seems to originate from our INSIDES. I know, strange, but I’ve heard so many people also feeling this that I wanted to write about it. I think it helps us not feel so odd when we know others are going through similar things, don’t you agree? Exhaustion STILL seems to be the order of the day as we continue with our rewiring and spiritual decluttering. The head and neck stuff appears to be associated with the rewiring process in our brains. I personally thought most of us were through that, but apparently this is another level. I had asked to go through this as fast as possible, double time at night, but since I’ve lived through this faster pace for the last three weeks, I humbly asked to tone it down a little ("throttle it down” were my exact words).
Trust continues to be the order of the day, as we can be catapulted into high pitches of anxiety as we feel this higher energy coursing through our bodies. Do we have a brain tumor, nose cancer (yes, nose cancer), infected teeth, ovarian cancer, MS, fibromyalgia, anxiety, depression? Well, maybe THIS time we DO have something ‘real’ but again, GO GET CHECKED OUT if you’re worried about something. If you come out clean, or more likely, they’re unable to ‘find’ anything that’s ‘wrong’ then you can feel a little more confident that this is, indeed, happening on higher levels, but you’re still feeling it in your body.
I won’t lie to you - it IS intense right now. Since January 1st, it’s been nonstop, and especially in these past three weeks when I asked to amp everything up. I thought I could do it - get through faster so I could help, but I’m sorry, everyone, I just can’t do it. It’s too hard - I can’t trust to the degree I need to trust when I’m up in the middle of the night and my teeth feel like they’re going to float right out of my mouth and my head won’t stop pounding. I think I need to work on getting stronger first, work on those trust issues, take more time off so I can do my work, THIS Work that’s requiring every single ounce of our attention, our focus, and our commitment. It appears that the symptoms we each feel is linked to what we’re working toward, and where we are right now. I think too much, too much mental energy, so I’m having to work a little more in that brain area to upgrade that to a slower, more open, calmer pace. You may have grounding issues, and may be feeling your feet go numb as your work to connect in new ways. See? It’s all new here, folks, and all we can do is talk and connect and support each other on our journeys. I for one am eternally grateful for all of my peers who are helping me through this right now - you know who you are, heading the list as always are my M&Ms - Melissa and Mags. I honestly don’t think I could do this without their love and support. I hope to gosh you’ve got your own M&Ms, whoever they may be - you need to know you’re not alone, as you feel that sharp pain behind your right ear and feel that current traveling up your leg and think how strange it all is. Strange, yes. Alone in all of this? Never.