Sam is our beloved Guardian of our Home, the beautiful silver maple in our backyard. I bought the house partly because of him. My best friend was married under that tree. It served as a portal to another dimension in my young adult novel, “Firstlight”. It brings me peace to lie in a hammock right underneath him and look up into his greenness. A few days ago I gave him a huge hug, right there on the right side, and just breathed with him for a while, sending him love, thanking him, expressing my gratitude for who he is.
Last night I heard a loud bang outside my window around 3AM. I quickly ran downstairs to make sure all of the windows were shut, as the rain started pelting against the siding. I haven’t slept in three nights, with Bill being sick, then Meesha Puppy getting me up to go for an early morning walk. I fell asleep on the couch at 10 last night. I awoke to the sound of a chainsaw, and it sounded like it was coming from our backyard. If it was my husband, I was going to scream at him. I really was. I looked out and saw the front half of the backyard carpeted in silver maple leaves. The entire right side of Sam had been ripped off, taking two large apple tree branches with it. His light and dark brown heart lay exposed to me, and I gasped. Bill came running in. “What’s wrong?”
“Just look,” I said.
He looked out the window, and taking my hand said, “New beginnings, Mom. New beginnings.”
Now I don’t exactly know how I’ve lucked out to have such enlightened children. I don’t know why the world seems to be crazy right now. I don’t know why healthy branches are ripped off the main tree. I don’t know the man disguised as a policeman killed so many children. I don’t even pretend to understand the bigger whys of this world, but I do know one thing to the center of my Being - that we ARE all connected, that Love is the most powerful force in the Universe, and that we while we may never understand the events of this physical life, we ARE protected and supported and dearly loved, and above all, I know that we are never, ever alone. I look out my window and see the thick main branch as it lays now naked on the ground and I say a prayer for everyone and everything that leaves while it is still healthy and alive and whole. I say a prayer for everyone in pain, I send love and healing to all who need it, and I continue to walk forward, lifting my chin just a little higher so I can see the beautiful blue sky above me.