$2880. That’s how much I spent over the years on a free AOL account. Why? I don’t know. I’m lazy. Too lazy to switch over to the free account. Then I tried, but couldn’t find out how to cancel. Then I had to transfer all of my e-mail addresses so I wouldn’t lose everyone. Then I couldn’t find the phone number. Wait - I found one for Customer Service! Hello - so you’re interested in a satellite TV network? No. I want to cancel AOL and this is the phone number on their website. We aren’t AOL. I realize that. Do you know their number? No, but can I interest you in digital cable? Disgusted, I just called my bank and had them stop payment. That was four months ago.
It has been a horrendous few weeks in our home. I will not lie. I have done moderately well, balancing crashes with peaceful breathing and remembrances of Who I Am. I made a beautiful dinner of organic chicken and rice, stir fry, organic avocados and tomatoes and pears. Sigh. How was your day, sweetie? Great. I did this… ring ring ring. The COLLECTION AGENCY? You’ve got to be kidding me. The final notice for $21.95 to AOL. Oh, to say something was building inside of me would be underestimating what I am feeling at this point. I took a deep breath and let everything come out of my mouth. Kind of like vomiting when you’re sick. If you just open wide and let it all out, it’s so much better.
The terms and conditions clearly state you need to give us 30 day’s notice. Why am I just hearing about the final attempt at collection today, four month’s later? I don’t know, ma’am. But it’s your fault. The terms are right there on the front page. Didn’t you read them? I was paying $21.95 a month FOR NOTHING. E-mail is FREE! Now it’s free. I will not lie - I dropped the f-bomb to the young Indian man on the other line. I looked over at Hubby and Bill, both leaning in to each other, their shoulders shaking a little. They’re trying not to laugh.
It’s funny - this feeling. Pure power, and even release. I am telling this man exactly what I’ve been feeling about the injustice of AOL to take $2880 for the past 12 years, then have the nerve to collect on another $21.95. I want to call AOL, but he tells me they’re out of it - they turned it over to collections. I’m up against the wall, so I do what any sane woman would do. I say, “Well, then, you have me by the balls. I will pay.” Have me by the balls? Oh man - Hubby and Bill are having a field day with that one! But it’s what I need to say, woman or not. It epitomizes the unfairness of the whole situation in which I am taken advantage of and not respected. I am a faceless paycheck to AOL, and they in turn are a faceless organization that only wants my money.
I have the decency to acknowledge that the man is only doing his job, but also that I am very, very angry. He waives the $2.95 processing fee. Good call, I tell him. Otherwise I would go postal on you. He tells me he is recording the conversation. So I say, GOOD! This is what AOL did to me, and tell the story from the beginning. He doesn’t care. I can feel the tsunami swell lowering back to a gentle wave. I take a deep breath. Hubby and Bill are done eating. My plate is full. They are now in the front room, looking at Bill’s new computer program. I take a deep breath. Did I sound angry? I ask. Yeah, you did, says my enlightened son. Was I funny? I ask. Yes, you were, they both answer. Yeah, it was pretty funny, I say.
I am not perfect. I get angry. I swear. I say silly things, like “have me by the balls”. I rail against injustice, even when it is futile (it’s mostly always futile). I am human. But something powerful happened tonight. I’m not quite sure. Maybe I found my voice. Maybe I gave myself permission to speak up for myself. Maybe I was just silly. But it WAS powerful. I kind of felt like Wonder Woman, golden cuffs and all. Taking off my cape now, though. I’m tired. It’s not easy being super.