I’ve had a hard time getting up off my chair lately. I’ve had a hard time getting dressed, brushing my teeth, doing the dishes, grocery shopping, cleaning. Okay, I’ve ALWAYS had a hard time doing the cleaning. I’m exhausted most of the time. I thought maybe it was from the stress of my root canal and other dental procedure that I ended up canceling yesterday. Maybe that’s part of it. But I think it goes beyond that. To what? Yup - energy. Those darned energy shifts, but more importantly, the energy siphons that are happening right now. Siphoning our energy normally reserved for our physical living to the spiritual work. It apparently requires a lot of energy, leaving us physically zapped and tired.
But I don’t like feeling tired all the time, so I decided to do something about it. I thought of all the things that make me happy, like baking and playing cello, being with friends, reading. Then I simplify the rest of my life to make sure I get to do those things that bring me joy. I baked all day today - two chocolate rum cakes, snicker doodles, and sour cream banana bars. Tomorrow I’ll make gourmet double chocolate brownies, Granny Meyer’s oatmeal cookies and glass candy. I feel productive, like I’m getting something accomplished. If I just MAKE myself do things it’s always better. But I have to do them BEFORE I sit down in my chair, or chances are good that they won’t get done at all. I don’t know what it is; I really don’t. But I notice it, and wonder about it. I need to exercise, I need to walk, or do SOMETHING, but I haven’t gotten there yet. I’m still just trying to entice myself to get out of the chair first. I imagine the whole exercising thing will come later. Is anyone else feeling like this? I don’t know. A lot of my friends are experiencing anxiety, and feeling like they’re really cut off from everyone else (I feel that way as well). I feel like I’m looking really old and tired, even if others disagree. For some reason I’M feeling that way, maybe just on the inside. I’ve got a few wrinkles on the sides of my eyes, and when I think I’m over 49, I guess I SHOULD be starting to get wrinkles, but still…
So for now I’m KISSing it - keep it simple, stupid. Or maybe I can change that to keep it simple, sweetie. That’s kinder. Mmmm - can you smell that? Warm snicker doodles fresh out of the oven. I’ll save some for you…