We were just having a nice fire in our backyard when he yelled at us. Looking at us over our 8 foot fence, the older man started challenging the legality of our fire pit. I tried nicely (yes, nicely) explaining that before we’d dug we’d called the fire department to make sure it was okay and legal (it was). He kept going, raising his cell phone at us, screaming, “GOTCHA!!!!!” Although I think we handled it well, laughing about it ("GOTCHA" is our new catchword), I’m noticing something that I don’t like at all. We’ve been victims of an act of terrorism and it’s affecting us.
We walked inside, but Steve stayed outside by the fire. “I don’t want ‘gotcha’ turning us in for neglecting our fire.” The rabbits are eating our garden. Our pellet gun is lying by the door. “Be careful so “gotcha” doesn’t turn us in.” Bill wants to light off some fireworks, but Steve says no, explaining that he doesn’t want ‘gotcha’ to turn us in and get us a $200 fine. I’ve had it. One sad, lonely, bored, jealous older man who is lonely and wants a back yard has effectively altered our whole household’s workings. We don’t feel safe or comfortable in our own backyard, and although I keep telling Steve we can’t let one man scare us, I can tell it’s affected him. I don’t care so much. Maybe it’s my basketball training. That competitive spirit comes out, and I’m ready to kick some serious butt if this guy messes with us again. I just don’t DO terrorism, in any form. Since this summer is the summer for conquering my fears, maybe we can extend that to Mr. GOTCHA across our backyard. Maybe we can aggressively spend all of our free time in the backyard to desensitize us to GOTCHA’S potential attacks. I don’t know. I’m just amazed at the power that one person has over a group of people, simply with aggressive, violent energy. Nope, nope, nohow, no way, not gonna happen anymore. Mr. Gotcha: I’m aware that you’re probably lonely and sad, sitting over there in your apartment across the way. But if you want to make friends, you don’t do it by spying on people with your cell phone, or accusing them of things you know nothing about. If you’d have asked, we would’ve invited you into our yard for s’mores. The fire is so lovely in the summer, and we are a funny, nice family. But you may never know that, because of your actions. I feel sorry for you, but you’re responsible for your actions, and how you live your life. But be forewarned: there WILL be more campfires, my friend, AND slack line, AND fireworks, AND pellet guns to scare off bunnies (we don’t shoot THEM, just near them), there WILL be noise, and lots of it, because we are a big, loud family. Just so you know. Thanks, k, bye.
I am making a sign that reads: “No Terrorists Welcome in our Back Yard” and placing it on top of our fence. Either that, or we’re getting a really big dog with a really big bark - just in case.